Dear Simon,

It’s been 4 years since you have been gone. I wish I could say it hurts less, it doesn’t. Your absence is as strong as ever. I don’t know when I would be able to say that I don’t reach out for you in my sleep.

I sat through another funeral couple of weeks back. I wasn’t planning to sit through another funeral for few more years, let alone for a child. I still can’t believe she died. She was mini-you. It’s almost as if I have lost you again. So unfair.

In more positive note, I got a dog few months back and she’s been good. She’s always cuddling up to me and giving me hugs. It has helped, a little. Going for walks with her has made me little more social, we have made friends. You would’ve loved her. And it hurts me that we never got to be a family together.

I’m planning to go on a solo trip in two weeks. Should be exciting, yes? But the closer it gets, more sad I become. We were meant to visit these places together. How am I supposed to enjoy any view without you?

There is so much I want to tell you, so much to share. But in the end, it all comes down to wishing you back. I just need you back with me.

Missing you,

S